The Future is Now...Part 4...(S10-E25)

*Disclaimer* 

This episode may be triggering to some. Please read with caution!

Some decisions in life can either make or break you. When it came to Laura's marriage with Luke it seems too many of those decisions slowly caused things to break and over time their love couldn't mend those cracks that began to form in the sinking foundation. Laura ends her call with Luke knowing that her decision to go meet with him earlier tonight might just cause a fissure in her marriage to Chad. The look on his face said it all. Chad knows that what Laura had and felt with Luke was much deeper than what she has right now with him, even though the two of them love each other. Laura takes a deep breath as she heads back towards the bedroom door to check in on Chad and Abigail.

She quietly steps into the bedroom, and finds Chad siting there with Abigail's head resting in his lap. He gently runs his fingers over her head, and through her hair telling her all will be well. Abigail's eyes flutter closed as she drifts off back to sleep. She is just as worried about her two older brothers as much as her mother and father are. Laura's heart melts as she sees them there, Chad comforting their daughter. He is a good man despite it all, and Laura knows that. She knows that Chad has always been there for her, and for the boys. He is the only constant father figure they have had most of their life. For that she is grateful...

Chad looks up at her as she quietly creeps into the room. She can tell he is upset. She lied to him about where she was going tonight. Chad knows the longer Luke chooses to stick around the harder things will get for him and Laura. Things have only worked so smoothly all these years because Luke chose to stay away.

"So were you ever planning on telling me the truth about where you went tonight?", Chad asks his voice a low whisper, yet still audibly twangy. The sound of it nothing like Luke's.

Laura walks further into the room as she quietly responds back, "I just did. I told you Phoenix is the one who called him here."

"You're saying Phoenix called him so you could meet with him?" Chad asks confused by her response. He knows she is trying to avoid this uncomfortable conversation. 

"No, Luke texted me earlier today, and I agreed to meet him.", Laura admits. "He is worried about Phoenix.", she adds seeing Chad does not like the fact that Laura agreed to meet her ex husband tonight, and never said a word of it.

Chad sighs, "Why didn't you just tell me?", he whispers, but the tone is definitely laced with frustration. "We could have all talked this out together Laura. I know I'm not Phoenix's biological father, but I have been there for him when it's really counted. You don't think I don't deserve to know what is happening?!"

"Chad, I...I just needed to see if he was serious about helping us out with Phoenix. You know how difficult things have been this past year, and I feel like maybe we do need help here...", While that is all true, Laura also knows it is more than that, but she cannot admit that to Chad. Even though their love is not the same she still loves him, and would never want to break his heart.

"Without telling me?...You lied Laura, said you had an errand to run. You never do that.", Chad adds. He cannot help, but feel this nagging feeling that it was more about Laura wanting to see Luke tonight more than anything else. "We could have met with him together worked things out together for Phoenix's sake...What's this really about?, he pushes. Suddenly feeling insecure about their relationship.

Laura looks at him and takes a big sigh, "Don't. Just Don't. You know how things get between you and Luke." Here it comes jealously is showing itself off now. This is exactly why she chose to not tell him. "I'm gonna go make some coffee.", she says. "Would you like some?...", Then she turns on her heels and walks away. Chad knows he pushed a little too hard.

"Laura wait, I'm sorry...You know I trust you...I do." Chad says as he gingerly gets off the bed so he does not disturb Abigail. He continues to follow her as she walks out the door of the bedroom and into the hallway. After all these years Laura has never given Chad a reason to feel like she made a mistake in choosing to stay with him after Luke was released from prison.

"Laura stop!", Chad demands. "Now you're being as stubborn as Phoenix!" Even though Chad is the one who ended up with Laura in the end, he always felt that if Abigail was never born things could have been a lot different. Luke stepped aside, and Laura chose Chad since she was carrying his child.

"My mind is made up! Luke deserves a chance to help out with Phoenix. Your jealousy just can't let you see that...", she snaps at him.

Chad scoffs back in response, "That's all it takes huh? He convinces you  and just like that...Voila! You've been sucked into his bullshit."

"It's not like that. Phoenix is out of control and you know he does not listen to either of us anymore..." Laura says continuing on to her destination as she makes her way down the stairs, Chad quickly following behind her.

"Laura you're being ridiculous. You know having him back in the boys lives is dangerous...Phoenix is already doing things he shouldn't be doing. Letting your ex husband around is just gonna compound the situation!"

"He's still their father...", she says as she continues to walk into the kitchen. "And we're out of options."

"He's a gawddamn criminal Laura! I know he's their father, but that doesn't mean he should be making parenting decisions for them. I'm the one who comes through that door everyday. I'm the one who pays for their clothes, food, and everything else!"

"This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you! You immediately want to make a competition out of this!", she shouts across the space. "You get so jealous of him it's ridiculous." Laura turns and walks to the fridge, her eyes welling up with tears. She feels completely torn in two right now...All she wants right now is for the boys to be okay, and if that means Luke needs to be around, then so be it.

Chad makes his way over to the fridge before Laura gets a chance to find the coffee creamer. "Darlin wait...I'm sorry.", he says as he pushes the fridge door closed. Laura turns, and is now pinned between him and the fridge. Her hand instinctively goes up as a memory of Luke's face flashes in front of her. Standing like this in the kitchen years ago fighting about the way Chad looked at her.

"Chad stop!...", she blurts out as her hand tries to push him back.

He looks down at her confused, "I'm trying to apologize darlin' what's going on?"

But she can't really tell him what just triggered her, "Nothing...I...", she says as her eyes well up with tears. "I'm just so worried about them, and you're not helping...by making this about who is the better father." She pushes her hand again against his Chest, Chad steps back, and Laura walks away. The tears over taking her vision as she wipes them away.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm being an asshole, but I have feelings too ya know? I love you and the boys too. I know sometimes I'm hard on Phoenix, but he needs the direction. He idolizes his father too damn much, and it's gonna lead him down a dark path."

Laura whips her head around, "You don't know that! He's just being a rebellious teenager." She tries to downplay the situation momentarily, but knows deep down things have been in a nose dive for way too long now.

"Laura the kid has been sneaking around for months. I think it's time we let Hayden handle this like we discussed. He needs to learn from his mistakes."

Laura's nose scrunches up in disgust, "I never agreed to that. You're the one who insists on it. You know the history Hayden has with Luke." She knows he means well but she is just not sure that getting Hayden involved will be a good idea. He knows Phoenix is Luke's kid.

"I know darlin, but I promise Hayden will make sure to keep this off the record. It's just to give him a dose of reality." Chad pulls her into an embrace, Laura steps in closer needing the extra comfort right now. "Just call him back, and tell him we have it handled."

"I don't think I can do that...", she sobs softly as more tears fall. "I told him you called Hayden.", she quickly admits. "He's not happy about it."

Chad steps out of the embrace, "Laura!...why would you do that? Telling him just might have made this ten times worse!" he shouts.

"Me?! You're the one who started this!...", she snaps back.

"You know Hayden and Luke have bad blood between them! You did this on purpose...", Chad spits out. 

Meanwhile across town Luke is shocked to find that Phoenix and Phineas found him. He never told Phoenix where he was staying. The boys bum rush the door, and Luke quickly closes it shut behind them. "What the fuck is going on?!", Luke shouts. "Your mother just called me scared, out of her mind worried about the both of you."

"Mom fucking exaggerates, we're fine.", Phoenix replies. Luke immediately smelt the beer on him and sees his eyes are glassed over.

"She said you're both drunk and high...And from the looks of it I think she's right. How the fuck did you even find me?" Luke asks.

"Phineas is the fucking genius. He knows how to do all the shit. He tracked your phone.", Phoenix proudly pats his little brother on the back.

Luke looks over to Phineas, "You know how to do that?", he asks perplexed. "I just paid a guy two thousand dollars to track you two!"

"Uh huh, it's easy. I can show you." Phineas smiles. "That dude fucking ripped you off Dad..." Phineas says proudly.

Luke shakes his head and responds in a deep gruff voice, "Yeah well your mom is worried about the both of you. Lemme get my phone, let her know you're both safe." Luke passes in between the two young men while they both turn around and take in the small dingy motel room. "While you sober up Finn, you can show me how to fucking track people. I know that shit will come in handy." 

Phoenix and Phineas both simultaneously turn their heads in the direction of the naked woman in the motel bed. They did not even realize there was anyone else in the room until now. She looks like a street walker with her bleach blond hair and smudged make up. It's obvious what took place overnight. Phoenix cringes in disgust at the thought of it.

Tanya pulls the stiff white bedsheet tightly and nervously against her chest as she waves at them with her other hand. "Hi boys...Your dad tells me a lot about y'all", she says and it is obvious she is a New Orleans native.

Phoenix immediately blurts out in response, shocked to see this trashy woman with his father. "What the fuck Dad?..." In fact the whole room is trashy. Reality starts to sink in for both of the boys. 

Phineas looks around and realizes coming here was probably not a good idea, as he sees drugs and lots of it laid out on the dresser. Phineas knows the real reason their father is in town. It was for business. Their current inebriated state caused some lack in judgement on their part.

Luke turns around his eyes dart to Tanya then back to the boys, "That's Tanya, she's just a friend. C'mon let's step outside, and call your mother. She's a complete wreck, and fucking worried about both of you."

But the distraction does not work. "I thought you were with Rufus?", Phoenix questions. Knowing he has seen photos in the tabloids of his father  being spotted with Rufus over the years. All this time he thought he was living the high life in Vegas, and not whatever this is.

"What?!...Fuck no. Rufus is a complicated bat-shit crazy...", he pauses. "She's just...", Luke does not know how to put it without seeming insensitive, but it's obvious this conversation is a little past that now.

Phoenix finishes the sentence, "A friend too?!...Just another one of your baby mommas like mom?"

"Bro, let's just go...", Phineas tries to mediate, but Luke steps in closer and snaps back at Phoenix.

"Don't ever fucking talk about your mother that way!...She has sacrificed a lot for you and Finn. The both of us have." Luke snaps, but Phoenix does not flinch. He pushes back again. 

"After all these years I thought mom left you for Chad, but she's right! You're the reason everything went to shit!" Phoenix shouts back. Shattered by the reality of it all hitting him all at once.

"I did what I did to keep you both safe! And your mother!...Everything was to keep you out of trouble, even Military school.", Luke yells out. 

"You agreed to send me to military school?", Phoenix hesitates asks.

Luke clears his throat, "We all did, son...It was to keep you out of trouble."

"Why do you even bother then with trying to be my father? Is it true mom was pregnant when you left us?", Phoenix boldly asks his father. Laura just admitted it to him hours ago things that transpired when he was too young to remember. 

"She told you about that?..." Luke says his voice coming out more disappointed and sad than surprised. He regrets not being there for Laura when she really needed him. Instead he ended up doing time for attempted manslaughter, which was where everything went downhill fast.

Phoenix scoffs, "You're a fucking loser...This is why mom kept you away from us. She never wanted to talk bad about you, but now I know why she stayed so silent all these years...You broke her fucking heart dad..." His voice trails off in disappointment realizing now that his mother was doing what she could to protect him from the reality of what really happened between his parents.

Phineas tugs at his brother's arm again. "Bro, let's just get the fuck outta here.", he whispers at Phoenix.

"I know you don't want to be here, but it's not safe for you two to be out on the road...", Luke presses, but more calmly this time. He knows Hayden has an APB out for them thanks to Chad's involvement. 

Phoenix sticks his chin out in defiance, and replies to his father, "I can handle it...We'll find our own place to lay low for a while."

"Phoenix, that's not what I mean...There are people out there look...", Luke is cutoff by the slamming of the door. 

Luke dashes to the door then stops and turns to look back at Tanya, "Can you wait for me? Travis is in the room next door. He'll know what to do." As he tilts his head over to the dresser, and the items that are laid out on top.

"Go get your boys shuga...You an I willa talk when you git back...", Tanya replies. Luke nods at her, and quickly heads out the door after Phoenix and Phineas. The sound of his bike engine starting as Luke swings open the door and dashes out after them.

Moments later Luke is on his own bike trailing behind trying to catch up. It's still early in the morning, and vision is limited out on this dark road. The sun is barely starting to come up. "Dad is following us, maybe we should just stop at the nearest gas station!", Phineas yells out into Phoenix's ear.

Luke shouts, "Phoenix pull over!..." But there is no way they heard him. He is still too far off.

"Don't worry I know where we're going...It's not far.", Phoenix shouts back as he speeds up the bike it jerks a little from his erratic driving. "Just hold on tight!"

"What the fuck bro?...I am holding on...Maybe just keep your eyes on the fucking road or pull over I think dad is trying to tell us something." Phineas cautions.

"Fuck dad!", he yells. "We're not pulling over..." Phoenix revs the bike again as he tries to lose Luke on the dim lit road.

"Phoenix slow down and pull over!", Luke shouts as loud as he can, but he doubts either of them heard a word. He needs to get closer to them. If they get away, Hayden could find them.

Phineas turns back, "Dad is getting closer, maybe we should just pull over.", he suggests. He knows Phoenix is mad, so is Phineas, but this is getting crazy.

Phoenix dips his head down as he tries to look in his side mirror, the sun is slowly starting to come up on the horizon giving a little more light, but still there is too much shadow on this very dark road. "Fuck that! I am not stopping! I am sick of everyone telling me what to fucking do!!!" he yells. Phoenix swerves the bike again as he continues to watch his father close the gap between them in his side mirror.

"Phoenix slow down and look out!", Luke shouts, but it is too late, by the time Phoenix notices he has swerved off the road just a little too much. He hits a large dead tree limb lying on the ground sending the bike into a dead stop causing the tail end to rear up, and toss Phineas into the air flying.

Luke skids to a near screeching halt as he fumbles to get control of his own bike. He quickly jumps off and runs to check on the both boys, who have both been thrown from their bike after it hit the large tree branch. "Phineas!!! Phoenix!!!", Luke shouts out panicked.

Phoenix groans, "I'm okay...I think...go check on Finn." His speech is slow and soft. He seems to be losing consciousness. A concussion most likely the cause of that.

Luke looks down the road his eyes focusing in on Phineas and his heart sinks. "Finn!", he cries out. Luke knows now he needs to call this in there is no avoiding Hayden anymore. Luke grabs his phone and dashes down the road to Phineas...

Some weeks later a small wake has gathered at the house. The doorbell rings and Laura dashes down the stairs to answer it, while Lily-Rose stays with Phoenix, who is struggling to get up, and greet family and friends downstairs. As she pulls the door open Luke is there dressed in black from head to toe just like her, dark shades hide his eyes as he looks down at her. His mouth downturned the sadness is all over him too.

"Come in...", Laura says softly. "I need your help with Phoenix. He's not coming out of his room", she pulls the door back farther, Luke nods and steps inside following her up the stairs.

Upstairs in Phoenix's bedroom Lily-Rose sits with him. Phoenix came out of the accident with a concussion and a few scrapes and bruises. His brother on the other hand was not so fortunate. "Phoenix, your brother wouldn't want this...You can't just give up.", Lily-Rose says as she tries to say anything that would help him.

"You should just break up with me...I'm a fucking loser...You should find someone better...Someone who won't hurt you.", he mumbles.

Lily-Rose reaches out and touches her hand to his cheek, "Phoenix I'm not going anywhere...you're not a loser. You're in pain right now everyone is..."

"That's easy for you to say...You weren't there Lily, you didn't see it...I know what they're all thinking. They hate me. They don't want to see me. I ruin every fucking thing I touch." Phoenix mumbles.

She picks up his hand and intertwines their fingers, "Phoenix, no one blames you, and no one hates you."

"I see it in your face too..." he rambles as he stares off avoiding eye contact with her.

 "It's not hate.", she quickly replies. "I love you, and I'm sad too ya know?"

Laura comes up the stairs Luke following behind her, "Phoenix...Your father is here. He wants to talk to you."

"Please go away.", he says as he stuffs a pillow against his face.

Luke steps up into the room from the stairwell and Lily-Rose gets up from the bed. She has tried, but Phoenix won't respond to her wishes.

"Phoenix...", Lukes says in a slightly deep authoritative voice. "We all would like you to come downstairs. Your grandparents are here they want to see you."

"Phoenix please we don't want you to be alone. We are all in pain right now. Nana and Papa love you and they want you to know that. They're right downstairs."

Phoenix does not respond he continues to look away and ignore his parents. "Let me talk to him, alone...", says Luke. "Give us a few minutes."

"Okay, I'll be downstairs if you need me." Luke steps aside and lets Laura and Lily-Rose head downstairs. He softly closes the door behind them leaving it slightly cracked open about an inch or two.

Luke takes a look around the room as he observes his old office space that is now his teenage son's bedroom. "I see you kept the old record player. Does it still sound good?" He asks, trying to break the silence. He knows Phoenix does not want to talk to him. Things have not been good since the day of the accident. 

"Hey look at me!", Luke roughly smacks the bottom of his shoe to get his attention. "What happened was not your fucking fault. Your mother and I don't want you to blame yourself."

Phoenix looks up at him, "Easier said than done." He mumbles in a very flat and defiant tone. "Leave me the fuck alone."

"You want to blame someone? Then blame me! I don't care if you fucking hate me for the rest of your gawddamn life. Just don't fucking blame yourself Phoenix! Trust me you don't need to go down that road."

"I do blame you!", he hisses out. "I blame you for everything!!!"

"Good! Now get the fuck up, and come downstairs." Luke snaps.

Phoenix begins to break, "I can't! If I do then everything becomes real, and I'm not ready to say goodbye to him Dad! I don't want to." Phoenix's eyes glass over with tears, and he shoves his head down into the pillow as heaving sobs take over. Phoenix had been holding back for weeks now but after a few weeks of bedrest and painkillers to recover from the accident, the numbness has worn off reality is setting in.

Luke takes a seat at the edge of the bed, and runs his hand across Phoenix's back in a coaxing manner. Like one would do to a fussy infant. "Phoenix...", his voice cracks as he too tries to hold back his own tears. "Phoenix, none of us want to do this, no one wants to say goodbye to a loved one. But trust me you need this, you need to grieve with all of us. We don't want you to be alone."

The two sit in silence for a few more minutes while Phoenix quietly cries. Luke knows his only son will never be the same. Life is never gonna be the same ever again for any of them, and now he regrets his foolish mistakes he made years ago even more. 

Luke stands up and gestures with his hand. "C'mon...get up. If you can't do this for yourself then do it for your Mother. She loves you, and she needs you too."

Meanwhile Laura walks into the master bedroom to find Chad standing in front of the mirror buttoning a sweater vest on. "Hey, where is Abigail?"

"Downstairs with your Parents. Don't worry...I made sure she was dressed before she went down." Chad reassures her. 

Laura nods, "Just so you know, Luke is here. He is upstairs with Phoenix right now."

Chad's expression changes, and he turns to face Laura. "Well hopefully he can git through to him. You sure things will be okay with him here?"

"I don't know...", she admits honestly. "But I can't tell him to leave. He needs to be here for Phoenix today.", Laura knows having Luke here is definitely gonna make things awkward for the entire family, but Phineas was his son.

"Okay darlin', but if he gets outta line. I will kick his ass out." Chad says sternly. He knows Laura will not want to, but if push came to shove then he has no problems kicking Luke to the curb. It is one thing these two men have in common, they're both stubborn as hell.

"Please play nice with him...I know you two don't get along, but just set aside the macho bullshit for one day!" Then turns and storms off, tensions have been high between them since the day of the accident.

Meanwhile back on the third floor of the house Luke has managed to get Phoenix up off the bed. He wipes a few more tears away as his father does what he can to console him.

"I don't know if I can do this...", he sobs. The pressure of facing his family hits hard, but Luke again reassures him. 

Luke reaches out and pulls him in. "I know son, but trust me they're all down there waiting for you with open arms. I'm sure they'd all rather place the blame on me."

Phoenix pulls himself together and steps back taking a deep breath. "Okay...I think I'm ready...I'm just gonna go splash my face with some water first."

"Okay.", says Luke "I'll see you downstairs. I'm gonna get some fresh air out on the patio for a minute..." Phoenix nods and heads off to the second floor bathroom.

After Luke finally convinces Phoenix to come out of his room, and head downstairs to be with the rest of the family, he walks out onto his old patio for a hit of fresh air, not much has changed out here. He pulls a joint out of his pocket, and takes a seat in one of the old club chairs. He was able to get Phoenix out of bed, but Luke is not so sure he can convince himself to face old friends and family either. Some of them he has not seen in years. He is not ready to face their judgmental looks. Luke lights up and takes a puff...

He sits there quietly as his mind drifts off to the past recalling when the boys were small and things were good. Laura and him were happy, everyone was happy...Now all of it is replaced by nothing but pain and sadness. Luke's eyes pool with tears as he thinks about those last moments with Phineas and how disappointed him and Phoenix looked once they realized Luke is the one that failed their family.

Luke sobs out softly in between puffs, "I'm sorry little man, I've failed you and your brother. Fuck even your mother...She doesn't deserve to lose you...All this shit is my fucking fault!" He sobs out again as his memories begin to take him under. The door swings open, and Laura steps out onto the patio.

Their eyes lock in on each other across the small space. Laura can see Luke is broken, just like her a piece of them is gone and lost forever. Luke begins to stand up already feeling the affects of the joint he has been smoking for the last few minutes. A habit Laura has always tried to get him to stop. "I'm sorry, I just needed a moment alone..." He apologizes immediately knowing Laura always dreaded when he got too drunk and high.

Laura begins to close the gap between them as she quickly walks towards him. Luke is not too sure if she is mad about him coming out here to smoke a joint. He cannot tell, she has not said a word since finding him out here. Like Phoenix, he too is not looking forward to facing friends and family today, he quickly drops the joint into the ashtray that is on the table in front of him.

Luke stands still as he watches her gracefully walk towards him. He thinks either she's preparing to slap him, or yell at him. Something the two of them have been very good at for years now. Luke fucks up and Laura freaks out. Her hand comes up and Luke flinches a little, then unexpectedly she softly wipes a tear from his cheek. "None of this is your fault.", she says somberly.

Luke looks down at her, and sees tears in her eyes as well, "Everything is my fucking fault. I could have stopped them. I didn't try hard enough. I'm sorry, babe...I'm so fucking sorry..." Luke cries as he continues to sob, trying to hold back for Laura's sake, but he cannot. 

Laura's eyes fill with more tears as she continues to wipe his away. "You don't think I feel the same?!", she says her voice cracking. "I could have stopped them too...I tried so hard to stop them!"

Laura breaks completely as tears now flow like rain drops down her face. She takes her hand to wipe them away, but the flood of tears is overwhelming. Luke pulls her into him as he continues to shed his own tears. The two of them have not had a moment alone to mourn since the  fatal accident weeks ago.

"I still remember the day we found out you were pregnant with him.", he reminisces. "It was the Fourth of July...we had just had that big BBQ at your parents house for Phoenix's birthday and you had been feeling sick all day..."

Laura leans into him and wipes away another tear from his face. She is sure her makeup is smudged for good by now from her own tears. "I remember..." Laura replies. Looking up at him. "I remember how happy you were to have another son. I was happy too, some of the best memories of us..."

"None of this would be happening if I hadn't fucked shit up between us so long ago." Luke admits as the two of them stay close.

Laura shakes her head, "No...you don't know that. We can't live with these what ifs anymore Luke...Both of us need to move on."

"Everything is fucking broken baby, life without you is too painful." He softly kisses her forehead, and Laura feels that jolt of magnetism. She can sense that pull between them, she knows he feels it too.

"Luke...", she begs. "Please don't say those things." But she knows he is right. If only they could undo what has been done. Luke leans in farther. That magnetic charge pulling them closer the urge to kiss her and hold her is so strong.

Her immediate instinct is to want to let things happen, but she has had her heart broken too many times over the years. "Our son is dead Luke!...", she scolds him. "We can't..." She mumbles sadness quickly replaces the anger. She forces herself to back away from his arms and the warmth of his body against hers, but Luke holds tight.

"It's hard baby when you're in my arms all I want to do is make all your pain go away." 

Laura leans back and shakes her head up at him, "Luke you know we cannot..." She could easily let him if she wanted to, she knows a moment in his arms is something she has no doubt missed with every fiber in her being, but definitely not under these circumstances or ever again for that matter. That ship sailed long ago.

"Because of Chad?...", Luke asks. "He had no problems trying to take advantage of you when we were married."

"Chad is a good man, and a good father." She finally pushes away from him completely breaking their touch and walks towards the patio door. Luke scoffs loudly at her comment, anger boiling up in him.

"I know I'm an asshole, but I'm never gonna fucking apologize or hide the way I feel about you!" Luke says as he follows her. "You really think Chad is the better man to help you through this? I can still stay Laura. I can help out with Phoenix like we talked about."

"No you will not! You cannot stay here!...", She quickly turns to look at him. She knows things will not bode well if he moved back to New Orleans permanently. "And for the record Chad is the better man right now..."

Luke steps closer, "Why the fuck not?...Phoenix is gonna need both of us. I need to make things right between him. He's all we have left Laura!"

"Because every time I look at you, I see him!...And it hurts too much Luke! I don't want you to blame yourself for what happened, but you and I will never be able to get back what was lost. It's gone!"

The admission of her feelings about him stings just a little deeper than he expected. The pain and the memories of their life and children together are now a painful reminder of what was lost. "You're over reacting as usual...You just said you didn't blame me.", he says with a bit of anger laced in his voice, he hates it when she rejects him, and he knows it is all his fault. 

"I think you need to figure out what kind of man you want to be for Phoenix, because the one you are now is not who he needs.", she says as she begins to turn the door handle.

"I'm the same man, I've always been! You're the one who wants to fucking change me.", Luke nearly shouts as he becomes slightly more intimidating with each response. 

"That's the man that scares me. Prison changed you, and it breaks me to see you this way...Don't bring this up anymore." She abruptly says and then ducks her head down, turns the doorknob, and walks back inside without another word.

Later that same day Luke leaves the house and heads back to the motel he has been living in for nearly the last month. Being back in that house was torture not only painful because of his loss, but painful because he knows he can never get any of it back. Those same words Laura said keep repeating in his head about him not being the same man he was when she married him. 

Luke sets down the beer bottle from the six pack he bought after he left the house. He picks up the revolver that's been sitting out on the dresser that he now carries with him everywhere he goes. Laura is right. He is not the same man she married years ago. "You always manage to fuck shit up, Cooper!", he audibly scolds himself. "You're delusional, thinking Laura would ever take you back..."

When they were married he was running a successful business, taking care of his family, enjoying his children, watching them grow up so fast it scared the hell out of him. Then all of the sudden...

💥BAM!💥

Everything good in his life changed instantly. Luke flops back onto the bed feeling himself spiral downwards into a pit of despair of his own making. That creole woman's words come to haunt him now many, many years later...

"Oh no...dis is bad, so bad...Your pain sha, it is too hard to bear. She will be your undoing if you let her go. Don't let her go!"

At the time he assumed what she was saying was about Rufus. He thought maybe she recognized him, and tried to pull a fast one. Now years later he begins to wonder if this was what she was referring to. She definitely had a foreboding message that at the time Luke tried to dismiss. But she wasn't talking about letting Rufus go Was she warning him about leaving Laura and the boys? How could she know?!

To be continued! May 26th

If you made it this far thank you so much for continuing to read! I know this episode is a bit of a rollercoaster....So much more is still to come so stay tuned!

^_^

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